The Roots of Perfectionism

Do you ever feel like you’re only as good as your last mistake—or your last accomplishment?

Maybe you set high standards for yourself, work hard, and want to do things well. There’s nothing wrong with that. But when falling short makes you feel like you’re a failure as a person, you may have crossed the line. And the tricky part is that perfectionism doesn’t always look unhealthy. Sometimes it looks like responsibility, excellence, hard work, or even faithfulness.

In this enlightening episode of our ongoing series, Uncovering Your Hidden Motives, John Tinnin, MFT, and Lynn Roush, LPC, are going to talk about how to recognize the difference between healthy striving and toxic perfectionism. You’ll learn why two people can have the exact same standards and yet have completely different experiences. They’ll also dig into six places perfectionism can take root: parental influence, peer pressure, productivity, performance, power, and pride.

Some of these may be obvious, but others can be surprisingly hard to spot because they can look like good things. Working hard, being responsible, pursuing excellence, wanting to make a difference, and even trying to become a better version of yourself can all become unhealthy when they’re driven by fear, shame, comparison, or the need to prove yourself.

And underneath all of this is a bigger question: What if you didn’t have to earn your worth? We live in a world where things don’t go according to plan, where we make mistakes, and where we simply cannot control every outcome. But the gospel gives us a different way to live. In this conversation, we’ll begin uncovering the roots of perfectionism and consider what it looks like to live from God’s acceptance rather than constantly trying to perform for it.

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